Hope

Well today i got an e-mail from her. She wants to be friends for a while. I am willing to do whatever it takes to see her happy and if it just being friends that will have to do. I do still love her with all my heart and always will but she only wants to be friends and i have to accept that and move on with my own life. Finding god helped a lot and trying to just get through each and every day is hard but i can do it. I wish i had done so many things different with her i wish i had not pushed or been so possisive but my heart was so taken by her that i went over board. Lesson learned i guess. I hope she finds happiness that i could not give her and that she gains all the things in the world she needs and wants.

How do you love and angel?

Its been about 7 days since i spoke to katharine. The pain in my heart gets larger and larger. I know she is happy and living the life she always wanted to. I felel myself falling farther into darkness. If only a word from her it would make my day so much brighter. Just to know she is alive and doing ok. The love i lost will never be replaced and only pain and sorrow will remain. Katharine was the kind of love that makes you smile on your worst day makes you feel comfortable and safe. The kind of love that makes ytou want to stay in bed cuddling all day when you know you should get up. The kind of love that makes you want to just sit and stare at her beauty so that you can bask in the glory of an angel. The way she smiled is what makes the sun rise everymorning and the kindness of her voice makes the night calm. Her eyes could see directally into your soul and bring out the good in anyone. Her love was so complete that a guy like be sould have given her the world. I failed and will forever live in regret. I will always love you katharine always.

life is pain

I am in the us Navy. I was onboard a ship set to deploy to the med. I fel in love with a beautiful young gril on the same ship. I was transfered off the ship do to this. She swore she would wait for me and that our love would survive. but i messed up. I did not trust her i pushed and pushed until i lost her. Then i lost my grandmother the woman that help to raise me. I pushe away the opnly thing in my life that mattered and the only one i truely loved. I feel lost and alone. I lost the woman that made me feel alive and free. She was the greatest thing in the world. She made me feel young and special in the world that is so dark and lost. I truely feel that i nwill be alone forever and i am ok with this because it is what i deserve. She was the only woman i will ever love and he only woman i will ever see my self loving. Katharine was the most special woman in the world she could do no worng. I treated her badly i lied i kept secrets and did not show her the love she so richly deserved. only alone can i attempt to atone for what i have done to her. If any reads this and ever crosses her path smile and tell her that she was loved more dearly that she will ever know. I will live my life in regret knowing that i lost the best thing that could ever happen to a person like me. the only thing in my life that was pure and true. Katharine was the greatest love anyone could ever hope for.